Ever find yourself trying to negotiate with a client… a spouse… even your dog? Yep, negotiation isn’t just for boardrooms or big real estate deals—it’s the thread weaving through everyday life. Whether you're closing on a million-dollar home or just getting your kid to do their homework, your ability to negotiate can be the game-changer.

Today, I’m diving into one of my favorite topics—the art of negotiation—especially through the lens of real estate. And don’t worry, this isn’t just for agents. Master this, and you’ll use it everywhere.

Start with Understanding: The Power of DISC Profiling

One of the most powerful tools I’ve ever learned in negotiation? The DISC personality profiling system. I first came across this in the '90s, and it completely shifted how I communicate.

Why? Because not everyone sees the world the same way.

Me? I’m a bottom-liner. Let’s get to the point and move forward. But if I’m working with an engineer-type who wants every detail, I’m not helping them by rushing. I’m missing what they need—and blowing the deal before it even starts.

So, I always recommend doing your own DISC profile. You’ll learn more about how you work—and even more about how to spot and understand others’ styles. And once you see that? You’ll communicate better, connect faster, and negotiate smarter.

Sell Yourself First

Here’s something I picked up from my friend Marc, a fellow agent in Portugal. He said: “Before you sell a product, you’ve got to sell yourself.” Boom. Truth bomb.

People don’t choose you because of your sales stats. They choose you because they trust you. Trust is built through connection—through listening.

Not just “waiting your turn to talk” listening. I mean really being present. Ask about their dream home. Their lifestyle. Their hopes and concerns. Get curious. Because when people feel heard, they let their guard down. And when the walls come down, trust comes in.

It’s Not Just About the Deal—It’s About the People

Recently at a networking event, I met a new member from the Netherlands. He’d traveled the world as a ship captain, and when I asked how he was doing, he said “Terrific.” That one word told me everything about his mindset.

I leaned in. “I love that answer,” I said. “You’re telling your brain it’s going to be a terrific day.”

From there, we got into a real conversation—about business, travel, even future goals. Why? Because I was genuinely interested. And when you care about people, they notice.

This applies everywhere: buyers, sellers, fellow agents. If you want to negotiate well, start by caring more about the person than the property.

Learn What Motivates the Other Side

This might sound fancy, but stick with me: Learn the motivation of your interlocutor. (Yes, I had to look that one up too—thank you, AI!)

Your interlocutor is simply the person you’re having the conversation with. Whether it’s the buyer, the seller, or another agent, understanding why they’re making the move is your golden ticket to crafting a win-win deal.

So ask the listing agent:
“What does the seller need?”
“What’s important to them?”

Not all agents will share this, but you’d be surprised how often they do when you come from a place of cooperation. It helps shape a more compelling offer—and guess what? It builds relationships too.

Say No When It’s Not a Fit

This one is big: Know when to walk away.

Early in my career, I had a consultation with a client who was just… not a fit. Rude, controlling, dismissive. He even talked down to his wife. He had a waterfront lot worth a good commission, but my gut said nope.

So when he shoved the paperwork across the table and said, “This isn’t going to work out,” I stood up, looked him in the eye, and said, “You’re right. I don’t want to work with you.”

Did I need the money? Absolutely. But not at the cost of my peace—or my values.

Saying no is a powerful negotiation skill. It sets boundaries. And it ensures you only work with clients who align with your style and mission.

Be Honest. Keep Your Word. Strive for Win-Win.

Integrity isn’t negotiable. If I say I’m going to do something, I’ll figure out a way to make it happen—or communicate clearly when I can’t. Because at the end of the day, my goal in any negotiation is simple:
A win-win at the closing table.

That means the buyer’s happy, the seller feels good, the agents trust each other, and everyone walks away satisfied.

Ready to Level Up Your Negotiation Game?

Negotiation is a skill. Like any other, it gets better the more intentional you are. Learn the personalities. Get curious about people. Set boundaries. And above all—be someone others trust.

If you found this helpful, let's connect for a strategy call. You may also join us in the Real Estate Riches Collaborative on Facebook. It's a space to learn, grow, and connect with agents who are doing this business with heart—no drama, no recruiting, just real talk.

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